Freakalicious: December 2007 Archives

So Douglas Adams was right?

You know, the past couple of days as I’ve been walking around the lake during lunch, I’ve postulated the theory that Jesus Christ was really an alien DNA experiment, and that the whole premise of the human race is that we are a long-running genetic experiment being conducted by a very old (by our reckoning) race of people. Maybe they have been evolving for 500 billion years, and they live for 500,000 years. Let’s say they are a very peaceful, giving people.

They started this experiment say, 20 or 30 thousand years ago, and have been making repeated visits to our planet to infuse us with some sort of gene-splicing material. That’s why there were so many different people, from early ape-man, through Neanderthal to Cro-Magnon to modern Homo sapiens. Each jump in the evolutionary tree was another genetic test.

At one point, they decided to go with one race, let’s just say the Jews, maybe because they were the most cohesive, since they don’t intermingle much with other races. All the accounts you read about in the Old Testament are just the scientists trying to make sure that their control group doesn’t get destroyed.

Let’s say these alien people have evolved to the point where they can communicate through telepathy, and manipulate the elements around them using their minds. Let’s say you’re a shepherd named Moses in ancient Egypt, and you "hear" a voice telling you to do God’s will. Maybe this voice tells you his name is "Yahweh" (which could be the actual name of the lead scientist, for example), and you must do things for him and protect your people. When really what "Yahweh" wants to do is protect his experiment, and continue to get "funding" for it! It goes on and on through the years.

Read the whole theory here: Unexplained Mysteries

Sounds like somebody needs a little more to do during their lunch break.