December 2007 Archives

So Douglas Adams was right?

You know, the past couple of days as I’ve been walking around the lake during lunch, I’ve postulated the theory that Jesus Christ was really an alien DNA experiment, and that the whole premise of the human race is that we are a long-running genetic experiment being conducted by a very old (by our reckoning) race of people. Maybe they have been evolving for 500 billion years, and they live for 500,000 years. Let’s say they are a very peaceful, giving people.

They started this experiment say, 20 or 30 thousand years ago, and have been making repeated visits to our planet to infuse us with some sort of gene-splicing material. That’s why there were so many different people, from early ape-man, through Neanderthal to Cro-Magnon to modern Homo sapiens. Each jump in the evolutionary tree was another genetic test.

At one point, they decided to go with one race, let’s just say the Jews, maybe because they were the most cohesive, since they don’t intermingle much with other races. All the accounts you read about in the Old Testament are just the scientists trying to make sure that their control group doesn’t get destroyed.

Let’s say these alien people have evolved to the point where they can communicate through telepathy, and manipulate the elements around them using their minds. Let’s say you’re a shepherd named Moses in ancient Egypt, and you "hear" a voice telling you to do God’s will. Maybe this voice tells you his name is "Yahweh" (which could be the actual name of the lead scientist, for example), and you must do things for him and protect your people. When really what "Yahweh" wants to do is protect his experiment, and continue to get "funding" for it! It goes on and on through the years.

Read the whole theory here: Unexplained Mysteries

Sounds like somebody needs a little more to do during their lunch break.

Reading A Story On the Front Porch

Digital pencil and oil (Corel Painter X).

...my profession of faith should not understood [sic] as an assertion of holiness. Quite the opposite, in fact. My profession of faith is an admission of my sinfulness. This is something many unbelievers seem to have a hard time grasping.

—Frank Wilson

From Frank Wilson's blog.

We're not politically correct in our household. We say Merry Christmas. Sure, Happy Holidays and all that. Be happy. I've no qualms with being Happy.

But I personally want to wish merriment on you at CHRISTmas.

Just keep in mind you can't strip Jesus from Christmas. There may be aspects of our celebration that are not scriptural. Big deal. That just means the holiday is more meaningful because it's multi-cultural and incorporates pieces and parts of the various cultures that have influenced the celebration. If it wasn't for Jesus, this holiday would have no meaning.

Personally, I wouldn't care if they moved Christmas to July. It's still a celebration of the birth of The Savior. Not "A" savior (one of several); we're not celebrating the birth of a great prophet and teacher (though He was those things). The Christmas holiday celebrates the birth of the one-and-only Savior of mankind (oddly enough, not Man himself, which seems to be the theological fad these days--that Man can save himself). The Creator of the Universe in flesh-and-blood.

You don't have to believe all this to celebrate Christmas, by the way. You don't have to stand up in church and become a Christian to join in the celebration of the holiday. It won't kill you (quite the contrary), but you can glom onto the celebration even if you don't think there's anything you need saving from. That's the great thing about a Christian celebration that incorporates elements of the cultures through which it travelled.

Believe it or not. That's up to you. I'm still going to wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Just wanted to let everyone know that Friday at 5:00 p.m. the lights came back on. Six days without electricity is something the kids will never forget, I expect. They've been walking around all day just saying "I'm so glad the power is back on." I can't agree more.

A special thanks goes to the linemen and tree trimmers from North Carolina, Texas, Louisiana, and other parts of Missouri (and quite possibly from other places around the country as well...those are the states I know utility crews came from) for working long hours in extremely bad conditions to get our power restored.

It's an utterly helpless feeling, when your power is out. There is really nothing you can do about it. You just sit around and wait on someone else. That's an unsettling feeling.

Now: the cleanup.

Just talked to my mom (we live right next to Mom and Dad) and she had talked to one of our neighbors, who had, in turn, talked to someone from the electric company. The bad news is that we are on our sixth day without electricity. The good news is that they expect everyone to have power by tonight. I pray that's true.

The generator has been a godsend. After several days, though, babysitting the thing gets a little tiring. Change the oil every 24 hours, re-fuel it every eight (give or take). I guess that's the price you pay to have electricity when the lines are down. I had taken an extremely cold (let's say frigid) shower last night, so was ready for bed. At 11:30, I had to put all my clothes back on, put on my overalls, and go outside to top off the generator so it would have enough fuel to run till morning. I put the last of the gas in it this morning and that filled it up. My wife will have to go into town and fill both five-gallon cans back up, just in case we need it another night. I'm not taking any chances any more.

Soon will come the fun part: cleaning up the several tons of limbs that are strewn about the property. Oh yeah, and we're supposed to get snow this weekend:

/O.EXT.KSGF.WS.A.0004.071215T0000Z- 071216T0600Z/ BOURBON-CRAWFORD- CHEROKEE-BENTON-MORGAN-VERNON-ST. CLAIR-HICKORY- BARTON - CEDAR - JASPER - INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...FORT SCOTT... PITTSBURG... BAXTER SPRINGS... COLUMBUS...WARSAW...COLE CAMP... VERSAILLES... NEVADA...APPLETON CITY... OSCEOLA...HERMITAGE... LAMAR ... EL DORADO SPRINGS...STOCKTON...JOPLIN... CARTHAGE 430 AM CST FRI DEC 14 2007
...WINTER STORM WATCH NOW IN EFFECT FROM THIS EVENING THROUGH SATURDAY EVENING...

THE WINTER STORM WATCH IS NOW IN EFFECT FROM THIS EVENING THROUGH SATURDAY EVENING.

SNOW WILL SPREAD INTO THE WATCH AREA BY FRIDAY EVENING. THERE MAY ACTUALLY BE TWO MAIN PERIODS OF SNOW...ONE FRIDAY EVENING INTO THE OVERNIGHT HOURS...AND THEN ANOTHER SATURDAY MORNING THROUGH MIDDAY. OVERALL AMOUNTS WILL RANGE FROM 5 TO 7 INCHES IN THE WATCH AREA WITH LESSER AMOUNTS TO THE SOUTH OF THE WATCH AREA EXPECTED AT THIS TIME.

THE WATCH AND POSSIBLE SUBSEQUENT WINTER STORM WARNING AREA WILL LIKELY BE ADJUSTED TODAY AS MORE CONFIDENCE IN THE PATH AND STRENGTH OF THE STORM SYSTEM DEVELOPS.

A WINTER STORM WATCH MEANS THERE IS A POTENTIAL FOR SIGNIFICANT SNOW... SLEET...OR ICE ACCUMULATIONS THAT MAY IMPACT TRAVEL. CONTINUE TO MONITOR THE LATEST FORECASTS.

I bailed on work yesterday afternoon and drove thirty miles to the Lowe's and plopped down several hundred dollars for a 5500w generator. Got the beast home, put oil and fuel in it, fired that baby up on the first pull and hooked it up to the furnace. Got the refrigerator plugged back in, as well as a few lamps and the phone. Of course, I had to get the satellite TV plugged in, too. The kids need something to do since there's no school yet again.

My wife and I really debated about whether or not to spend the money on a generator. I'm glad I did. Although it was a lot to be paying (two weeks before Christmas) for something you hopefully won't use all that much, I really think it was a necessity. Not just so we could pump some heat back into the house but because it was really the only thing I could do to feel like I was able to provide for my family.

I've felt like I've just been reacting by staying with other people. It's always better to sleep in your own bed, sure, but this is more than that. This was a proactive step I took so that my whole family could sleep together in our house.

There's not many opportunities any more for a man to feel like he's genuinely provided for his family in a substantive way. Like saving the life of your child at a swimming pool several times and you shrug it off as something parents "just do." Usually, we do our thing in relative obscurity and we may (or may not) be appreciated for it.

This generator means more than just TV and heat. It means Dad is providing for his family.

Going on fourth day without power. Can't sleep well because I'm not sleeping in my own bed because the house is about 45 degrees inside. Maybe ten degrees higher with the fireplace going. But still too cold to subject five kids to for who knows how long.

Sat on hold with the electric company for thirty minutes this morning. Never did find my way to a person. Just rotated in the queue listening to some guy read off test messages for the hold system. Over and over and over.

I'm just tired of this. I'm at work today because the show must go on. Of course, I wouldn't be doing anything if I was home, so I guess it's just as well. I'm not really here, though, because I'm thinking about my wife traveling today to her parent's house so she can wash clothes and take a shower and give the kids a bath--some of the younger of whom haven't had a bath since last week (no hot water since Sunday). She'll probably stay there tonight and I'll stay with mom and dad again.

Our whole family stayed with my mom and dad last night. They at least have a generator to run the furnace. No hot water. Cooking on top of the woodstove. My mom and dad also have my grandmothers with them. There were four generations (11 people in all) sleeping all through the house last night.

I took some pictures on Tuesday, before the ice started to melt and while the trees were still breaking in half and it was dangerous to be outside unless you were in the wide open.

Maybe the crew that was finishing up replacing about a dozen poles out on the highway this morning can move their operation over our way and start working on the lines and poles still down near us.

Maybe we'll have power today. Then again, maybe not.

I've never had the National Guard called out for the area where I live. Those kinds of natural disasters always happen to other people.

This week, it happened to us. The huge ice storm that slammed the midwest and prompted our governor to declare Missouri in a State of Emergency has left us without power since basically Sunday. We had power for several hours sunday night and monday morning, but after that, it's been cold and dark. I took several photos of the destruction caused by 1/2" of ice over every branch and blade of grass (literally...that's not an exaggeration). Yesterday, I stood outside on the pond dam and listened to the trees breaking--one every minute or thirty seconds. A sound like a gunshot, then a lot of crashing and snapping as the limb went to the ground with a thud.

My family is huddled in with my folks right now, since they have a generator big enough to power the furnace. They also have a wood stove, so their house is warm. We had to travel 35 miles last night, to my in-laws, just to get electricity and hot water. When we came back this morning, the thermostat read 46!

All this technology is great and wonderful and oh our lives are so much better because we can stick a plastic card in a gas pump and get our fuel without even having to gone inside or bother with cash. We've got internet and email to keep in touch and furnaces to keep us warm and air conditioners to keep us cool. At least we have all that when we have electricity to run it. All this technology makes the assumption that we'll have power to run our gas pumps and our furnaces and our air conditioners. It's just assumed that those power lines with 27 million splices in them from all the times they've come down and been repaired will just work. In the best case scenario, when nothing is remotely out of the ordinary, they work just fine. We depend on the technology and structure our lives around it.

So are we really all that different than our ancestors? Not when the power is out. We still have to go to the creek to get water to flush the toilet because the water tower has run out of water because there's no power for the pumps to put fresh water into them. Our cordless phones don't work so we plug the rotary phone back in and maybe they work when the power is out and maybe they don't because the pole that the phone line is on is the same one the power line is on and it snapped in half, along with the dozen others on either side of it and it takes the power company three days to replace them all.

The greatest weakness of all this great and wonderful brave new world we live in is electricity. Without it, we're no different than my grandmother's family, when they were growing up. Except we've grown up without having to provide for ourselves so we've lost the skills required to keep ourselves warm, fed, and sheltered when the power goes out. Without generators and shelters and all the things we depend on to conduct our daily affairs, we have only our families and ourselves.

This will only last a few days. They'll work 24-hour shifts and get the poles replaced, the lines spliced and re-hung, and we'll be back to normal by this time next week (Lord willing). And then we'll go back to business as usual and structure our lives around those frail wires strung over the landscape and just assume that, when we need that electricity most, we'll have access to it.

So will we have it when we need it? We need it now and don't have it. We depend on it and find that it's not really all that dependable. Electricity is truly a fair-weather friend.

The plan was to workshop our poems today. I took No Sense (I edited it slightly and just posted the results). We did mine very near the end of class and only had, literally, two minutes to read it and respond to it. We spent too long yammering over everyone else's poems.

I had to smile. I know everyone who has been in a workshop knows that one guy (or gal) that smiles at everyone's confusion and exclaims, rather arrogantly, that they intended for it to be that way.

I was that guy today. Only I wasn't that guy. Well...it's sorta...complicated.

Here's the thing: I expect you to come to my work with a little background. If I make a statement like: "An idea. / Political, religious, or otherwise" I expect you to think of an idea. I'm not going to give it to you. I don't give handouts because I don't expect (or want, for that matter) that from the work I go to. I expect you to bring your baggage, your knowledge (or somebody else's for that matter...but some knowledge, got by hook or crook, if need be, but knowledge nonetheless), your prejudices, your wisdom and your short-sightedness. I expect you to bring those things with you because you'll be keeping me company. I have all those too.

The main thing that seemed to detract from this poem was that you had to think about it. That the concepts were abstract (guilty) and that there wasn't a concrete image to go with each abstract idea (guilty). That for the poem to work, the reader had to bring their own stuff to it, apply it to the poem, test it, and see if it's true (guilty).

Which was the whole idea. So on that level, I say: [licks finger and marks a point in the air] "score." But I understand the other side, too. I understand that a poem often must contain within itself the path to get the reader to the same place you are--without making assumptions about the reader, their background, or what they bring to the poem. "No Sense" is a map without street markings. You have to know where you are already before you can use the map to get where I'm taking you.

Is there, or is there not an idea, political or religious, worth killing for?

Is there, or is there not an idea, political or religious, worth buying?

Is there, or is there not an idea, political or religious, worth putting faith in?

Should you, or should you not give up on that idea because "a man's got to do something?"

I can't answer that and neither can the poem. In the end, the only way for this poem to work is if the reader brings themselves wholly into the work and applies their own ideas. That was the point. That was the intent. On that score, I think I was successful.

I don't expect you to come to my work empty-handed and I won't leave you that way.

Edited: 12/24/07 based on insightful suggestions.

An idea--
political, religious, or otherwise.

No sense putting faith in it, it’s just a habit.
No sense saying it, you don’t really believe it.
No sense buying it, it’s not worth much.
No sense selling it, no one’s buying.
No sense admitting it, everyone does it.
No sense hiding it, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
No sense explaining it, we got it the first time.
No sense ignoring it, it won’t go away.
No sense accepting it, you don’t know where it’s been.
No sense killing for it, no one wants it that bad.
No sense exalting it, it’s essentially meaningless.

No sense giving up on it, a Man’s got to do something.

So the new MacBook Pro arrived today. Not much time for a big review, but I have to say it's worth it, even though the initial outlay is more than what you might pay for a cheesy Win laptop. This baby is screaming fast--and it's not even the fastest model they have. A new 2.6 GHz model is coming out sometime.

I got a 200-gig harddrive (because it was faster) and I'm going to order third-party memory to upgrade it to 4 GBs of total RAM.

I plan to do all my development and photography on this one laptop, so it's got to everything I need.

The new OS X (Leopard) is not a huge change, like Tiger was. There's a lot of new stuff in here, but I have yet to use most of it. Stacks are nice, despite what I've read. The translucent menu bar is fine, too. I did find a tweak to turn my dock back into 2D, but other than that, I'm very, very pleased.

Now I've got to spend the next several days tweaking and copying files off the old laptop. Getting all my preferences and what not migrated over.

All-in-all, I'm a happy Apple camper (you expected something different?).